The Past Week, and How I've Actually Gained Some Confidence.

            So in my first entry I feel a lot of my anxieties overshadowed my excitement for starting this new journey. This past week has been a crazy one for me, a lot has happened and at the same time we’ve been doing classroom setup and had our open house for the new families. And from my involvement I actually have gained some confidence and got more excited.

            Firstly, I’ve learned I can really trust my team. At first I was intimidated because two people on our team have a lot of experience with these children and had a strong leadership presence. This was especially uneasy for me because I am used to the one being in the leadership position so just not being that part of the team was an adjustment to me. But really, these women are wonderful, they’re patient and very happy to share their knowledge. When we were setting up the classroom they shared ideas and if they thought something was not the best idea they told me why so I felt like I was learning rather than being chastised. They were also happy to show me where everything was which is always a tough part of being in a new place. I’m actually very grateful for the time we had to set up before the children were there because I do feel more comfortable and bonded with the team which makes me feel better overall.

            The biggest confidence builder this week was the open house where our new families came to visit the classroom. Despite all my anxieties about what I don’t know yet, I do know one thing well – I can connect with the children. I was immediately comfortable engaging the children in activities and getting to know them. Talking to parents was actually easier than I thought to, it is amazing how responsive somebody will be to you when they see you are enjoying their child and care about their concerns. Within five minutes of having children in the classroom I had forget all the things in my mind I was worried about and I was having fun. And I was so happy the children were enjoying the materials we had put out, that gave me more confidence in the choices that were made when setting up the classroom.  It also made me a lot more excited. A couple of the children I already felt I really connected with, especially one who clung to my leg when it was time to leave. It was a nice reminder that I’m a good fit for this and if I can connect with the children naturally then the learning specific skills and techniques will come with time and I will be fine.

            Which is wonderful because now that I’m calmer and those anxious emotions are subdued a bit that leaves room for excitement. I’m excited to get to know all the children and their different personalities. I’m excited to try new activities, get messy, and form relationships with these children and their families. I already got plenty messy at open house because we put paints out for the children. It is so fun to see the different personalities – a couple kids shoved their hands into the paint and were happy having paint all over their hands, arms, face, and goodness knows what else. Another children enjoyed the painting with the paintbrush but wanted to wash her hands every time a drop got on her hands. We had a couple children loudly trying to get as much attention as possible and another child who was more timid and didn’t want to participate much. In that short amount of time I learned a lot of this job is reassuring parents that their children are doing normal child things – children will mix paint, spill things, get loud, mix materials, and just generally explore in ways that are meaningful to them. All of this is okay but the parents looked so nervous every time the kids did any of this and need reassurance, which is making me realize just how important it is to build trusting relationships with the parents.  

Mixing paint is actually a great way to learn about how to make different colors

            I feel bad for them too, there is so much pressure to have perfect, quiet children which aren’t really developmentally appropriate expectations. I used to be guilty of this but learning more about developmental stages I became more patient and adjusted my expectations a bit. Don’t get me wrong, there is a balance to achieve between having realistic expectations and teaching children how to behave in certain settings, I’m not saying we should not guide children. But we do need to realize we are often placing children in environments that are difficult for them and then get irritated when the children behave at their developmental level. This comes into play a lot when designing both our environment and our schedule. We try to have a balance of child guided and adult guided activities that have developmentally appropriate expectations of how long children will engage in different types of activities. We structure the environment to give children outlets for their energy and desires to move but in a safe way – for example we have slides and areas for them to bounce but set up the room in a way where they don’t have space to run and be unsafe inside.

            So next week along with working I will also be taking five classes. This sounds like a lot but I’m confident I can handle it, when I was working on my bachelor’s my final semester I had five upper division classes, a job, and an internship. Speaking of internships my schedule this semester was not quite what I was planning. For one class I need to do six intern hours per week and I was hoping to do those hours on Tues/Thurs when I wasn’t working at the center. Unfortunately there wasn’t a placement that worked with my class schedule so we decided that six of my working hours would be unpaid and count for the internship class.

            This is both good and bad. The downside is that I’m losing out on six hours of pay and I could really use the money, and it is always a bit of a bummer when you plan something out and it doesn’t go that way. But there are plenty of positives to this arrangement. The internship expects us to do a certain amount of observing, planning, and implementing activities as well as taking a leadership position in the classroom. I’m lucky because instead of having to do this in a newer place I’m in an environment I know, with a lead teacher and other apprentices I trust, and kids that I do have some experience with (at least some of the class). Also since the center is at the college I’m doing the intern class through they have a clear idea of the expectations of the class and know how to help me complete everything I need. Not to mention this will give me time or study or do other things on Tues/Thurs and not be as busy and stressed. So overall I’m grateful it worked out this way.

            So overall I’m happy and excited for next week. I did just order my books a couple days ago, oops! But I’m sure that will be fine, and I’m sure there will be another entry or two next week as I settle into things. I hope you’re enjoying reading this as much as I’m enjoying writing this.